What is Domestic Violence?
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE IS- A pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. If you are reading these pages chances are you being abused or know someone who is being abused. Assault, battering and domestic violence are crimes. Abuse of any form is a crime. It is unacceptable.
Battering can come in many forms, emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, using children, threats, using male privilege, intimidation, isolation, and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power. Violence often begins with behaviors like threats, name calling, violence in a victims presence, ie. breaking or damaging objects or pets. These behaviors often escalate to restraining, pushing, slapping, and/or pinching, punching, kicking, biting, sexual assault, tripping, throwing. After a period of time behaviors may become life-threatening with actions such as choking, breaking bones, or the use of weapons.
TYPES OF BATTERING
Physical Battering - The abuser’s physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts which escalate into more frequent and serious attacks.
Sexual Abuse - Physical attack by the abuser is often accompanied by, or culminates in, sexual violence wherein the woman is forced to have sexual intercourse with her abuser or take part in unwanted sexual activity.
Psychological Battering - The abuser’s psychological or mental violence can include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from friends and family, deprivation of physical and economic resources, and destruction of personal property.
PROFILE OF A BATTERER
The batterer begins and continues his behavior because violence/abuse is an effective method for gaining and keeping control over another person and he usually does not suffer adverse consequences as a result of his behavior.
*A batterer objectifies women, does not see them as people, or respect women as a group. Overall, he sees women as property or sexual objects.
*A batterer has low self-esteem, feels powerless, and ineffective. He may appear successful, but inside he feels inadequate.
*A batterer externalizes the cause of his behavior. He blames his violence on circumstances such as stress, his partner, a "bad day," alcohol. Anything or anyone but himself.
*A batterer may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence (part of the abuse cycle), and is often seen as a great guy to those on the outside.
ARE YOU A VICTIM?
*Called names, continually criticized, or Shouted at?
*Humiliated in front of others?
*Threatened with physical abuse against yourself or your child?
*Controlled through finances?
*Have your personal belongings been damaged or destroyed?
*Been subjected to hitting, punching, biting, slapping, hair pulling or choking?
*Forced to have sex against your will?
*Ridiculed for you beliefs, religion, or personal values?
*Discouraged from relationships with your family or friends?
*Accused of infidelity over and over by a jealous partner?
*Does your partner threaten you with suicide if you leave?
*Are your family pets abused as a means to punish you?
*Does your partner become angry after drinking or abusing drugs?
*Have you been threatened with weapons and or guns?
*Does your partner keep track of all your time?
*Do you feel you constantly need to be on guard, and careful about your actions and what you say?
If you find yourself a victim of these behaviors, you are most likely in an abusive relationship. You are NOT ALONE!!!!!!. There are resources and people available to help. But, the first step is yours. You must consciously make a decision you will no longer continue to be a victim. I hope the information you find here, along with the resources and links, will help you on the road to an abuse free and happy life.
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